“I was raised in Portland, Oregon, by two wonderful lesbian parents. Growing up in a non-traditional family instilled a deep sense of community and activism within me. We’re at a time in the recreationally legal industry where community and activism can have a real influence on the next 100 years, and I feel lucky to have been raised with this perspective.” 

Like many, my career in cannabis began before recreational legalization. When I first moved to New York in 2009, I knew I wanted to make friends and smoke for free, so selling weed was an obvious way to achieve both. I was one of the privileged ones being a small, Asian-American, attractive, female, so selling weed was much less of a risk for me. I didn’t fit the profile of who the war on drugs was profiling. 

Selling in college is where I got my first taste of business and cannabis. I discovered what it meant to find my market. I started selling to one student-athlete which led to the whole team, and then most of the athletic teams on campus.  Because I didn’t care about making money, I was charging much less than my competitors for a better quality of the product. Since my customers were also my friends, customer service became second nature. For my athlete friends, I added a Nerf basketball hoop and duct taped a basketball key half-court onto the floor; I always smoked a bowl with them since I loved to smoke. Also, snacks, music, and good conversation was always available. I loved everything about weed. The way it made me feel, how it opened my mind, deepened my involvement and comprehension of my studies, the different varieties of it, but most of all, how it connected me to other people. These are still the things I love most about cannabis today. 

What is one piece of advice you would give your former self about working in this space? 

I’d give myself the advice my mom gave me when I moved to New York. Knock ‘em dead, kid. 

“I thought back to what jobs I had had in my life that I loved doing day in and out, and selling weed in college is what rushed to the top of mind…We had the timing, an idea, and the passion to say fuck-it let’s just try.”

By my late 20s, I had achieved relative success. I had a core group of friends that were like family, a good-paying job, and a beautiful apartment that I shared with my perfect partner. Yet, somehow I found myself crying in the bathroom stall at my office with the overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction, and general lack of fulfillment. In actuality, the only thing I was successful in was building the facade of who I thought I wanted to be, and dedicating the majority of my time and energy to fulfilling other people’s dreams. My heart and soul were underdeveloped, and so I felt empty. I thought back to what jobs I had had in my life that I loved doing day in and out, and selling weed in college is what rushed to the top of mind. At the same time, my longtime friend Valarie was conceptualizing Barbari,  a brand and product line for the light-weight consumer, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. We had the timing, an idea, and the passion to say fuck-it let’s just try. 

I picked a goal for my savings account and when I hit it, I quit my NYC career and moved back to Portland to join Valarie in building the company. Today, I don’t cry in bathrooms anymore. I’ve learned that being self-employed hasn’t given me the sense of fulfillment I was seeking, it’s the women in the cannabis industry. Their abundance of creativity, brilliance, drive, compassion, community, and generosity, energizes me and inspires me to keep contributing. They’ve shown me a side of doing business I didn’t see much of in “Silicon Alley” (New York's own Silicon Valley). Sometimes it feels similar to those college days when the main goal wasn’t profit, but a community and a shared goal. In some ways, I’ve come full circle, and in others, I’m just getting started. 

My first cannabis mentor is Anja Charbonneau, founder of Broccoli Magazine. It was that launch party where I first had the feeling that I found my tribe. It was a room filled with creative, intelligent women in cannabis. Seeing her ability to be so focused on her vision, while also creatively inspired by all different kinds of cultures is always a source of inspiration for me. Valarie and I participated in the first cohort of The Initiative, an accelerator program for women in cannabis founded by Amy Margolis, a brilliant leader, and ally. Through Amy and the program mentors such as Emily Paxhia, Carlos Penas, and April Pride, we were able to sharpen ourselves as business leaders and create a tangible action plan for our own success while forming meaningful relationships with these mentors who see our vision as the future of this industry. 

“Building this company from the ground up has been the most professionally and personally challenging thing we’ve ever done. For the first time though, I feel a sense of ownership and autonomy over my life and my work. It may be a shit show, but at least it’s my own shit.”

Building this company from the ground up has been the most professionally and personally challenging thing we’ve ever done. For the first time though, I feel a sense of ownership and autonomy over my life and my work. It may be a shit show, but at least it’s my own shit. Our customers are where I get my happiness. Every once in a while I look up and am marveled to see how many people are buying more than just our product, but our vision for the industry. We are all relating to each other through this brand, and it’s an amazing feeling to feel a part of a larger movement. 

It was once suggested to me to get a hobby. I laughed of course. Time not spent building the business was time wasted. I didn’t risk my career, friendships, relationship to do anything other than building this business. I was holding onto the narrative that I didn’t deserve a life outside of work because I had a great life which I sacrificed to launch the brand. But after nearly two years of that, I was floundering and sinking under my own depression and pressure to not let anyone down, including myself. So I started my search for a hobby and after some months, I re-discovered swimming and almost instantly started feeling better, thinking clearer. 

The few hours a week in the pool worked out space in my mind to introduce creative problem solving, which ultimately helps the business. I made a formula for myself of swimming, cooking rather than ordering out and a few social moments each month outside of work. Now that COVID has made our world much smaller, it’s emphasized how important this formula is to my physical and mental health. The COVID pandemic has forced me to get creative with how I maintain this regime (swimming is pretty hard without a pool, but youtube yoga is a decent runner up). I’ve remained committed to it because it means committing to my best self. 

Self-care is important because being a business owner is an endless inbox of stressful news. From getting kicked off our merchant processor the day we launched the first website (and several times after), to the state telling us we can’t make our product, to worrying about running out of capital, to how to launch a product in a quarantined America.

“Whenever we make it onto this podcast, I don’t know how we’re going to choose which make-or-break moment to talk about. It feels like we’ve had one a month since our launch two years ago, and I’m sure we’ll have many more.”

One of my favorite podcasts is How I Built This. Every episode starts with a cold open where the founder is recounting this make-or-break moment of their company. Whenever we make it onto this podcast, I don’t know how we’re going to choose which make-or-break moment to talk about. It feels like we’ve had one a month since our launch two years ago, and I’m sure we’ll have many more.

About Barbari:

Herbs and botanicals have been smoked, steeped and smudged for hundreds of years. These blends are crafted to get your mind right without rambling, made with organic ingredients with effects that can center, intoxicate and balance other herbal remedies.

Our food-grade herbs are carefully sourced from quality farms for safe smoking, steeping, and burning. Like components of a perfume or a bedtime tea, the properties in the herbs blend together for a full-bodied experience, creating a composition that can be restorative to internal systems, calm or awaken the mind. The Blends are also designed to deliver a milder, more manageable high when rolled with capital-H Herb to make an herbal spliff.