I grew up in a very rural, very conservative part of Central Pennsylvania. I was taught that drugs were bad and the people who did drugs were worse. I was taught that cannabis and heroin were basically the same thing. Due to some traumatic events in my early teens, on which I partially blamed cannabis, I judged and avoided anyone who smoked. It wasn't until I was in graduate school, surrounded by my cohort of brilliant philosophy students and professors, many of whom smoked (because philosophy!), that I was willing to give cannabis a chance. Those traumatic events from my teens led me to seek healing through understanding trauma. Studying trauma was what led me to sex education.

I was trained as a domestic violence crisis counselor and rape crisis counselor while I was in college. I started doing sexual violence prevention education in graduate school, which was my first experience teaching. I loved it. While the topics I covered (consent, bystander intervention, acquaintance rape) were challenging for me to discuss, I lived for the "aha" look in my students' eyes. After creating a presenter's guide for a national sexual assault awareness campaign, I landed a job as a victim advocate at the Philadelphia District Attorney's office. It was powerful work, but I quickly burned out. 

20 cases a day where all of my cases were juvenile victims of adult offenders. I started having flashbacks in court. That was not a sustainable career path. I pivoted--got a job at Planned Parenthood and learned a ton about sexual and reproductive health. After my health center was closed, I told my ex-boyfriend I needed a change of scene. We agreed to move to Los Angeles, and that's where my sexuality career really began to take off. I worked as a phone sex operator for a year, then got a job as the Web Manager for the Pleasure Chest, an iconic sex toy retailer in West Hollywood. 

I had experienced pain with penetration for most of my life, due to my history of sexual trauma. In 2014 I heard about a company called Foria that made a THC-infused oil for vulvas. I had a meeting with their Marketing Director and they gave me a bottle to try, instructing me to take it home, apply it and wait 20 minutes, then engage in stimulation. It was the first time I was able to have penetration without pain. About a year later, I had a massive PTSD resurgence which led to me quitting my job and not leaving the house for almost three months. Cannabis was invaluable to me during that time, to help combat panic attacks and stimulate my appetite when I was too anxious to eat. It also helped me begin to reestablish a connection with my body and my pleasure. 

“I realized that I didn't know any sexuality professionals who were talking about sex and cannabis from a trauma-informed, consent focused, body positive, queer inclusive space. I wanted to become that person. I wanted to give people permission to take their healing journey into their own hands and use cannabis as a tool in that journey.”

I realized that I didn't know any sexuality professionals who were talking about sex and cannabis from a trauma-informed, consent focused, body positive, queer inclusive space. I wanted to become that person. I wanted to give people permission to take their healing journey into their own hands and use cannabis as a tool in that journey. I was offered a column with Leafly in October of 2015, and landed a column with Dope Magazine not long after that. Gradually I became known as an authority on sex and cannabis. I've published over 200 articles on sex and cannabis in the past five years, and I just finished writing my first book, which will be published in September 2020.

“I encourage everyone to begin to explore combining cannabis with pleasure in a solo context. It's helpful to figure out how a product or strain works with your body, in an environment where you can control all of the variables (time, setting, music, when and how to start and end).”

I encourage everyone to begin to explore combining cannabis with pleasure in a solo context. It's helpful to figure out how a product or strain works with your body, in an environment where you can control all of the variables (time, setting, music, when and how to start and end). That way you can get a more accurate understanding of how that particular cannabis product works for you in a sexual context. 

SIDE SESH QUESTION:

You recently completed certification as a BodySex Facilitator and studied with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. What was that like?

It was like learning from one of the most badass, witty, irreverent feminists on the planet. Betty is a force of nature. It was an honor and a privilege to be in her presence. I spent a week with her and fifty other women from around the world in upstate New York for a Bodysex training retreat in July 2019. We were also there to celebrate her 90th birthday. I taught a workshop on sex and cannabis there, toward the end of the retreat. Afterward she came up and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're the real deal, kid." It made me cry. How many people get to receive that kind of validation from one of their heroes? I had the good fortune of spending an extra couple days with her in her iconic Manhattan apartment which has hosted hundreds of Bodysex circles (and other exciting sexuality events) since the 1960s. We got stoned together. I sat captivated, listening to her stories about wild parties and her encounters with other icons. I marveled at her unabashed authenticity and profound sense of self love. Betty knows exactly who she is and she is not ashamed of one inch of it. She proclaims loudly and proudly that she is her own most talented sexual partner. And she has created a movement that led thousands of women to take off their clothes and look at their vulvas in hand mirrors, then boldly reclaim their pleasure in a group setting.

If you try something with a partner and it doesn't work the way you want it to, there's no way to know for sure if it's not working because there's something off between you and your partner, or if there's something off with the cannabis and your body. Try it on your own and masturbate, then take notes! I know it's geeky, but cannabis can impact short term memory, so you might forget which one worked well for you (and how it worked for your body). On my website, CannaSexual.com, I have a free PDF cannabis product tracking template that you can download if you sign up for my email list. I try to make it easy for folks to keep track of what works for them.

"Don't take anything personally" is something my dad used to tell me all the time. I used to take everything personally. If someone was frustrated with me, I would either get defensive or intensely self critical. If my friends went out and didn't invite me, I assumed it was because I'm just not fun to be around. It's such a self defeating way of moving through the world. I've gotten much better at not taking things personally in the last couple of years, but I still struggle with it sometimes. Especially with internet comments on videos I've appeared in. Being a sex positive woman who lives in a voluptous body, I am often the target of fat shaming and slut shaming. It's challenging to not take that personally, but I try to remind myself that 1. The people commenting don't know me. To them, I just represent something they're afraid of. 2. The people whose opinions I do care about--my colleagues and loved ones, are more important than strangers in the comments. 3. Reading the comments is almost always a terrible idea. 

“While porn is awesome and highly entertaining, to use it as a standard for sexual accomplishment is fundamentally flawed. It would be like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive.”

To wrap this up, your sex life doesn't need to look like anyone else's. So many folks I speak with share the same dilemma--their only benchmark for "good sex" is what they see in porn. While porn is awesome and highly entertaining, to use it as a standard for sexual accomplishment is fundamentally flawed. It would be like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive. You're watching professionals on a closed course. Let go of what you think sex is supposed to look like. Let go of what you think your body is supposed to look like. Focus on doing what feels good in the moment. You may not be particularly interested in sexy times in the middle of a global crisis. That's okay. There's nothing wrong with you. Find ways to connect with your partner that feel good. Don't push yourself to do things you're not comfortable with just because you think you're supposed to, or that it means something about your relationship if you don't. 

About Ashley Manta

Ashley Manta is an award-winning sex educator and coach and has become a sought-after authority on mindfully combining sex and cannabis as part of her CannaSexual® brand. She appeared on the cover of Sexual Health Magazine in January 2019, along with the designation, "America's High Priestess of Pleasure." She recently completed her certification as a Bodysex® Facilitator after studying with legendary pleasure pioneer Betty Dodson. She is a brand ambassador for Sybian and Foria.

At the January 2020 XBiz Awards, Ashley was named Sexpert of the Year. She has been nominated for several other awards in both the adult and cannabis industries including Influencer of the Year, Sex Educator of the Year, and WEGO Health Awards' Best Kept Secret. Her work has received recognition in Forbes, The London Times, Newsweek, and Huffington Post, to name a few (see the entire list on her media page.) She was the featured expert on VICELAND TV's "Stoned Sex" episode of Slutever season one, hosted by Karley Sciortino. She was also profiled in an episode of "High Indulgence" on PlayboyTV.

Ashley has presented at mainstream, adult, and cannabis events like SXSW, New Living Expo, Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, Sexual Health Expo, and the Cannabis Nurse Network Conference. She was a contributing writer to Leafly.com from 2015-2017, and currently writes for Dope Magazine. In 2019 she taught at a number of retreats, including the Glowing Goddess Getaway, Healing Inside Out Retreat, Intimate Health's Punani Power Yoga Retreat, and is scheduled to speak at the New Living Expo, Glowing Goddess Getaway, and more in 2020 and beyond. 

She earned a Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy with a minor in Women’s Studies and has completed graduate coursework for a Master of Arts in Philosophy. Ashley is also a certified and attuned Reiki II Practitioner, a certified consulting hypnotist, and a trauma-trained victim advocate.

Contact Ashley!

Email: Ashley@AshleyManta.com